Saturday, April 18, 2009
Dear Jimmy...
Dear Jimmy,

I can't believe it has been almost 20 years since I've seen or spoken to you. Time goes by so quickly - the last time we saw each other at a family get-together you were in your early 20's, full of amibition and big dreams. I know life didn't turn out exactly as you had planned - your career as an artist never came to fruition...through the years your mother shared the stories of heartbreak and disappointment that you incurred when the business deals that were to be your "big break" were not to be.

But I also understood that although you were sometimes down, you were never out - you found a new path, and as you approached forty you decided to go back to school and become a teacher. I so admired your ambition, and also your ablilty to never stop dreaming.

I also know that you dealt with a lot of challenge and struggle in your life. I can only imagine how difficult it was to share that you were gay with family and friends - I know many in our family can be judgemental, and I am sure it took great courage to do this. I was so sad to hear that you became HIV positive, and then learn that you developed AIDS. And I can't even begin to imagine how overwhelmed you must have felt when you were told you also had untreatable cancer.

Your mom continued to share stories of your fight...even when you were under Hospice care I understand you refused to give up and believed that you would be able to overcome what most would consider insurmountable odds.

My heart is so heavy today Jimmy as I learned that though you did all you could, you did not win this final battle. I know the small concillation that your mother, and the rest of the family has, knowing that you are no longer suffering...and that you are now surrounded by loving family members who preceeded you in death, and are now welcoming you "home" - to what I pray is a place of eternal peace and love.

It is difficult to understand why bad things happen to good people - I have always grappled with this. But I would like to believe that the place you exist in now is so amazing and so beautiful, that although you are gone from this earth, you are now of it - and your goodness, and kindness, and loving spirit will live on in those who knew you and loved you...and that you my dear cousin, are just beginning an incredible new journey that the rest of us can only imagine and hope for...
With love, Cousin Andy xoxo
Written at 8:23 AM by Andrea.
0 comments |